"What Is It Like Riding Gold? The Good & The Bad Days" ~ Jemai, Evelenth's rider at Monaco Weyr, Silver Skies MUSH

All right, so you're reading the "what's it like to ride a gold?" part of this. If your character is female, you even have a shot at doing it. My advice? Pass it up!!

Become a Lady Holder, dear. Or a Craftmaster. Better yet, avoid all positions of authority like the plague. This business is not for you. Forget the absolute beauty and true magic of roleplaying standing on the Sands. Forget about the wonder of really feeling like you're Impressing a dragon, and a gold one at that. It only lasts for an evening, with an afterglow for maybe a week.

What did I do as a goldrider? Let me tell you about the bad days.

There was the day I found out I was to Impress this dragon. On the Sands, you must be thinking? No. Via congratulatory e-mail. I was the first PC goldrider and Weyrwoman at Monaco, you see. I was a working admin before my dragon was clutched. And why was that first day so bad? Because I had to deal with the tears and heartbreak of one of the losing applicants, somone who'd thought surely she'd been chosen. Someone who thought she'd been promised it, in fact.

There was the day when I had to tell a fellow goldrider that what she'd done was inappropriate and that I thought I should take her actions to the Wizards. (Do you have the courage to decide to do that?)

There was the following bad day when she decided to give her character to someone else. And to convince her RL husband to retire. Just so happens he was the Weyrleader at the time. (Do you have the will to continue to be firm?)

And there was the week after that when things finally calmed down and she decided to keep the character after all. (Do you have the gentleness of heart to welcome her back?)

I had the courage and the will. I didn't have the gentleness of heart. Not fully. She came back, but it was never the same again.

There was the very, very bad day when I was so rude to another player that she killed her character and left the game. Can you stand to accept the fact that your ego will hurt others? And that the role you play will allow it, even encourage it?

And then there were the good days. The days when, for whatever reason, I got to sit on the beach and roleplay the stars coming out, and the evening wind on the water. There were the days when I got to help a new player figure out how to set up a character. There were the days when the weyrhall and the beach and the commons were all packed with roleplayers. There was the day of Evelenth's first flight, and the truly wonderful friendship that grew out of the roleplay with B'roc, my Weyrleader. Those were the days that made it worthwhile.

But it didn't last, of course. Not the good nor the bad. I was Weyrwoman at Monaco for just over two years, and then I finished grad school and got a full time job. The dear friends I'd made drifted away from RPing, as did I, and I had a character who was supposed to have the job for life. My choices? Simple, really. Kill the character, kill the dragon, or find a solution that left the character unfit for duty. I finally chose the latter and drove the character insane.

After five years of playing this character, I've seen her go from being a good, decent, light-hearted child of 16, to a grief-stricken girl of 20, to Weyrwoman of a minor Southern continent Weyr at 21, to a crazy woman at 30.

Now she's free. Through an absolutely dark period, she finally emerged into a woman who, with all the cares burned away, was simply free of the constraints of society. She has no responsibility, and yet she is responsible to no one. The Weyrwoman and the Weyrleader both let her do what she wants to do, because what she wants to do is good for the Weyr. When she orders them around, she does it because it's good for them. (No really. Just ask.)

She can scowl and ask a Weyrling point-blank whether they're still a virgin or not. And when they finally get over the shock, they usually answer. If the answer is that they are, she'll happily match them with an appropriate partner and get things taken care of. She can walk up to anyone at the Weyr and start a conversation, or she can go and babble to a baby in the corner. Nothing is expected except that she show up and liven the place up now and again.

She's been wonderful to play. She is my better self, the person I've always wanted to be, deep in my soul. I know, I know, a character isn't supposed to be you. Hey, she was my first character. And I still love her more than the rest.

But none of this needed a gold dragon. All of the good, wonderful things that have happened to me as a player could have happened with any character. And many of the bad things that happened had to do with being a goldrider and being in a position of considerable responsibility. Think about it. When you're the Weyrwoman (and it will be sooner than you think), those 71 people on the +knot are suddenly all your responsibility. Every one of them can make your life miserable. Some of them will choose to do it just for that reason, others will just be trying to help. There are vicious people, nasty ones. There are kind, but controlling ones. And there are a lot of good, decent, intelligent people who will tell you you're making the worst decision in the world. Every day.

Why did you want to ride gold, again?